


Do AIs Dream of Electric Sheep?

by inawasteland



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Dreams, Gen, Hilarity Ensues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 07:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1597355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inawasteland/pseuds/inawasteland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Blues talk about dreams and Church can’t remember his own.  Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do AIs Dream of Electric Sheep?

**Author's Note:**

> Title is adapted from the Philip K. Dick novel (the one that Blade Runner is based on). This was just a means to get myself writing again as it's been a while. Please let me know what you think and give me ideas for things to write. Apologies if I got any details wrong, I may or may not have streamlined all 11 seasons in the past...week or two...

For as long as Church could remember, there was not a single instance in his monotonous life when he could recall a dream of his.  This wasn’t exactly something that concerned him until Caboose had brought the subject up.  It was sometime after the Reds had done something idiotic in their attempts to thwart the Blues and after Tex had gone off to track down Wyoming or something.

“There was definitely a dinosaur and a giant robot cat and I think they were both throwing ice cream at each other,” Caboose was narrating.  Church had missed the first part but judging by this part of the dream, he didn’t think he missed anything.  “Oh and you were in it Church.”  That sure as hell made Church perk up.

“Do I…want to know what I was doing in your dream?”  He silently prayed Caboose hadn’t imagined anything X-rated.  It was weird enough for Caboose to consider him a best friend even though they barely knew each other.

“Oh you were singing karaoke.  You have a very lovely singing voice, by the way, you should sing songs all the time.”  Even though nobody could see it through his helmet, Church rolled his eyes.

“No, please god _no_ , do _not_ make me sing, nobody wants to hear that.”  And, as if on cue, Church and Tucker were both pleading with him to sing.

It lasted all of about thirty seconds, because then— “What was the weirdest thing you dreamt about, Church?” Tucker asked.

“What?  Oh.  I, uh…can’t really remember any of my dreams.  I usually just wake up and, you know, carry on with my day.”  After hearing about what Caboose dreamt about, Church considers himself lucky that he didn’t remember anything.  The last thing he needed was to be distracted in combat because he couldn’t stop thinking about a dream.

“Not even one?  Come on, there has to have been _something_.”  Leave it to Tucker to be the persistent one.  Church had to hand it to Caboose, though, he knew how to change the subject without even realizing that it was exactly what Church needed right now.

“Maybe we could build a karaoke machine!  I bet there are leftover parts from that robot building kit I saw around here somewhere.”

Church would have banged his head against the wall if there were a wall nearby.  “Yeah, let’s not do that.  You know, all this talk of dreams is making me tired, I think I’m gonna go lie down,” he lied, not feeling the least bit tired.

But now all this talk about dreams had him curious.  Why _didn’t_ he ever dream?  Or did he just not remember any of them?

That night when he lay down to sleep, it took him twice as long to slip into that peaceful, dreamless slumber he was used to all these years.  Maybe, he thought in those last fleeting moments before what he assumed to be sleep, it was better not to dream at all than to constantly have nightmares.  Because with all the horrors of war the had survived, he knew his dreams would be fucking lame and would probably involve a recurring nightmare of Tex dying, of Caboose dying, of everyone dying around him and him being unable to stop it.

Nah, Church thinks as he shuts down for the night, this not dreaming thing would be just fine.

And when Caboose reveals the karaoke machine that he somehow managed to put together instead of sleeping (“I had a nightmare that you were gone and I could not sleep”) Church thinks that Blood Gulch is probably just one big nightmare.  One could only hope, at least.

…

_“For fuck’s sake Caboose, turn that shit off, nobody wants to hear you sing Spice Girls those aren't even the lyrics.”_ Yeah it better fucking turn out to be a nightmare and he better fucking wake up any second now.   _Aaaaany second now..._


End file.
